I received my final chemotherapy treatment on Friday, July 22nd, 2022. The portable infusion pump, which went with me when I left the treatment center, was removed Sunday morning the 24th. And, as usual, the chemo fatigue, loss of taste and appetite, and general weakness hit me the following Monday and lasted through the week.
Today, Saturday, July 30th, was my first day back outside. I was finally able to walk a couple of blocks to the local dairy store. It was my slowest walk ever. Think “inchworm” progress -- at least, that’s how I probably looked to anyone passing by. But I made it there and back. Then I made lunch. And when I sat down on the couch to eat I did not fall asleep. That’s important because not nodding off is an indicator that the side effects of that last, final treatment are fading.
It’s been about 26 weeks since I first started chemotherapy and 32 weeks since I first learned that I had gastric cancer. My surgery was in April. July 22nd was the last of my wrap-up rounds of chemo. No more infusions. No more aftereffect “yuck”. I can finally start regaining strength and weight with the knowledge that it won’t get knocked back off by a future treatment.
I still have some testing to go through in the month of August. But if all goes well I’ll be headed back to work in September -- albeit on a much lighter schedule.
The months behind me have felt like a LONG haul. On the plus side my age, combined with the meds and forced reduced activity, helped me more than reach what was originally my 2021 weight loss goal. On the downside, I no longer cast a shadow.
That makes the months ahead a “starting over” period for me. So, I’ve decided that Monday, August 1st, will be my START HERE date. Kind of like the “start” space on a game board. Except my game isn’t a board game, it’s a LIFE game. (Note: There actually is a board game for life. You probably knew that and played it when you were a kid.)
Like all games, there are rules to my new life. Here are just a couple.
For my first rule, I’ve been on a new diet since January (I’m a reluctant vegetarian). But now I really have to push. More juicing (which I like) and more green leafy vegetables (which I’m okay with). No sugar, no bread, no dairy (no ice cream -- heavy sigh), and no meat, including white meat (sound of my head hitting my desk with a depressed thunk). Since I’m light on protein, iron, and potassium right now, I can eat fish and some seafood (cool -- wait, that actually makes me a pescatarian.) And these are all life-saving, cancer-preventing diet choices. So, like it or not, I’m gonna do it -- and like it!
For my second rule, I’ve been exercising when I could all through the treatment process but now I have to work it. My stamina, which last year was pretty good, has been zapped. An hour on my feet feels like 8 hours. So, more daily exercise. Long walks. More stretching, light weights, and resistance bands. And warm weather, hot weather, cold weather -- it doesn’t matter -- outside I go.
I’m more than okay with the exercise things. I like to exercise and I enjoy being outside. More importantly, I can still DO these things. It’s just that my capacity for longer workouts and walks has been cut. I have to learn -- or re-learn -- to do it all again.
This START HERE, starting over time will take just that -- time. But time is what I have been given. I don’t know if it’s a short time, a medium time, or a long time. After all, I’m coming up on 65 in November. I don’t know any of that.
But it’s not how long or how much I have that’s important. It’s what I do with what I have.
By the Grace of God, I’m alive. It’s time to live.
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